The Fear of One’s Self

Between you and me, there is a lot in common between the two of us than you would think. For example, we’re both humans, we cannot live without our daily caffeine intake, and we love our weekends (and Netflix) way too much. However, we also share another thing in common, something far more complex than our likes and dislikes. This “thing” is something we usually don’t acknowledge at times: a fear of not being special.

We are afraid that we would be replaced by others, to be just another face in the crowd, that there’s nothing special or unique about ourselves. As we are afraid of being ourselves, we won’t be able to meet whatever challenges life throws in our way. This fear of “one’s self” is an ancient fear, and it has been brought back from the dead to modern day as there is an “absence of love” present in our society. If you haven’t felt of belonging in your early years, then you will eventually spend the rest of your life trying to prove that you are of value and belong.

Bad parenting is one of the main causes of the fear of self, but this fear is constantly fortified by our society. Society today tells us that we are nothing, unless people wear our own clothing brand, acknowledge our own existence, like what we do for a living, and are aware of our relationships and recent activities. Also, unless we have a pretty face and a perfect body, people won’t care about us at all. This is what society is trying to tell us: “You’re nothing. Your own name is hardly recognizable, nor memorable; nobody’s heard of you. I am somebody, while you’re a nobody. You don’t become a somebody unless people like you”. And so, our own individualities are threatened each and every day of every year. We look in the mirror and instead of seeing the lines on our face as a reminder of all the memorable things we have done that marked our lives, we simply these as a ton of wrinkles that have to be rid of. Therefore, we see ourselves as ugly, old hags, the ones that compare unfavorably with the beautiful, stunning model on the cover of Sports Illustrated.

Fear is the emotion of conformity, and of all the fears that constantly plague our lives today, none is more devastating that the fear of being yourself. How ironic. Society tells us one thing, to be different, and we do the opposite. As a result, we hide our real selves within. All our true beliefs, likes and dislikes, our thoughts and opinions, hopes and dreams are hidden from the public eye so that we won’t be rejected for them. We humans are a social species, so being rejected from society, from everyone is totally unbearable, too much exposure of ourselves. It’s just easier to go with the flow and let society tell us what we should do, like, and think for the rest of our lives. Most of us lead lives that are motivated by this fear, we would rather surround ourselves with what is considered “cool and mainstream” than those things that apply to our own individual needs.

Our greatest fear should not be knowing that we will eventually die, but that we never lived because we became somebody else instead of being ourselves. I’d rather be a nobody than a somebody if I have to conform to the way society expects me to just to be a somebody.

I am already a somebody. I am ME. I like being me and I need nobody to make me somebody.

Yours Truly,

Joanna